As part of our IVF class yesterday morning, we had to complete some paperwork about what we wanted to do with any extra embryos. We are hoping for enough embryos to freeze. The clinic claims that approximately 50% of IVF couples do have enough to freeze. But that everyone should think of popsicles as a bonus. They aren't guaranteed and the bar is set pretty high for them. The best of the best are transferred. Any potential popsicles also have to be best of the best before they will freeze them. What are the odds of having more than 2 superstars in a class?
What to do with the frozen embryos if I die? What to do with the frozen embryos if hubby dies? Who do the embryos belong to if we divorce? The answers. . .he gets them if I die. I get them if he dies. The hardest question was the divorce question. I wanted them. My reasoning was hubby could go dip his wick in someone else's ink and make babies all on his own without science. I, on the other hand, would have to go through expensive medical procedures to ever have children. Hubby couldn't believe that I would want his children if we divorced. Maybe after a horrible divorce, I wouldn't. But right now I love him and couldn't actually imagine giving away a chance to have children of my own. He finally agreed and signed that I would have control of the frozen embryos if we ever divorced.
It is the first and only thing that we have ever had to make arrangements for in case of divorce. It was very strange. Divorce doesn't really enter into our vocabulary. And to make arrangements for life after divorce just feels like a jinx to our relationship.
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4 comments:
wow what a decision to have to make! I probably would have done the same thing, but just to have to think about it... wow.
We haven't filled out that paperwork yet... but it is something that definitely takes some thought. It's great that you two could come to a mutual agreement on it, though.
Treatments do bring up the difficult decisions. I would want my Popsicle in a divorce, too.
IVF is already hard on a couple, having to sit down and discuss a future divorce as if it might actually happen is just rough. It doesn't jinx you though. Those are touch decisions to make - glad you guys could come to an agreement about them.
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