Wednesday, June 10, 2009

I lied

I admit it. I lied. And just like Pinocchio, my nose is growing.

Old friend from high school, A, and I were talking on the phone the other day and she asked me how baby making was going. Out came my fib of "everything is on hold for a while." I had told her previously (oh why did I do that?) about some of our early struggles. A did 2 rounds of Clomid 8 years ago to conceive her child and she thinks she is an expert on infertility. I admit I probably wasn't the best support for her when she was going through her struggle with infertility. But now I feel like I am out of her league. I am playing in the majors and I don't want to discuss and have critiqued my batting stance with someone from the minors.

A is strangely interested in everything medical. I don't want to talk about my drug routines and here back how difficult Clomid was for her.
A is deeply (and a bit oddly) religious. I don't want to talk about ICSI and hear her take on playing God.
A is a bit of gossip. She knows everyone and from what I can tell about what she tells me about everyone else, she spills the beans on every one's business. Usually she omits names but tells enough details that I can put the puzzle together. Even though she lives 300 miles away, I don't want everyone that I went to high school with to know that we are doing IVF.
Don't get me wrong, A is a wonderfully nice and caring person. She could probably offer insight that I hadn't thought of. She could counsel me with a tender spirit. I could easily ask her to not tell anyone (though I could only be about 80% sure that she wouldn't) The evilness lies inside me. I don't want to take the time to teach her about the drugs that I am going to be taking. I don't want to open myself up. I don't want to have to tell her that if it doesn't work.

1 comment:

jill said...

I think you are perfectly within your rights to not tell her any of that. Especially given those examples of A. You can tell her when you finally get pregnant but sheesh, if you don't want to discuss baby-makin with her then you are not obligated to! Don't feel bad about it :)