Old friend from high school, A, and I were talking on the phone the other day and she asked me how baby making was going. Out came my fib of "everything is on hold for a while." I had told her previously (oh why did I do that?) about some of our early struggles. A did 2 rounds of Clomid 8 years ago to conceive her child and she thinks she is an expert on infertility. I admit I probably wasn't the best support for her when she was going through her struggle with infertility. But now I feel like I am out of her league. I am playing in the majors and I don't want to discuss and have critiqued my batting stance with someone from the minors.
A is strangely interested in everything medical. I don't want to talk about my drug routines and here back how difficult Clomid was for her.
A is deeply (and a bit oddly) religious. I don't want to talk about ICSI and hear her take on playing God.
A is a bit of gossip. She knows everyone and from what I can tell about what she tells me about everyone else, she spills the beans on every one's business. Usually she omits names but tells enough details that I can put the puzzle together. Even though she lives 300 miles away, I don't want everyone that I went to high school with to know that we are doing IVF.
Don't get me wrong, A is a wonderfully nice and caring person. She could probably offer insight that I hadn't thought of. She could counsel me with a tender spirit. I could easily ask her to not tell anyone (though I could only be about 80% sure that she wouldn't) The evilness lies inside me. I don't want to take the time to teach her about the drugs that I am going to be taking. I don't want to open myself up. I don't want to have to tell her that if it doesn't work.